Happy Birthday Zalman

I know that a reminder about Zalman’s birthday will be posted on facebook pages all over the country today. I also know that from time to time that crazy picture of Zalman’s head popping out of the school bus window also appears on facebook to remind his friends to reconnect  and send him a message.   At least one person has sent a message back  in the last 2 years saying how cruel facebook is and how much he hates facebook for reminding him to reconnect with Zalman.

I am greatful to facebook today. It feels good to know that Zalman is not forgotten and that there is a community around his memory on his birthday.  As if to make sure I didn’t miss this fact, Thursday I walked into our corner hardware store and saw Zalman’s friend Charlene.  When I mentioned Zalman’s birthday,  she replied, “I know”.  It took a minute to understand how she knew and then slowly I realized it was facebook.   Zalman is having a cyber birthday today.  It feels like the modern day version of sending wishes and blessings into the universe as thoughts and prayers.

I believe that birthdays are always times for celebration, and I plan to celebrate Zalman today.  His birth was a gift.  His presence in my life and in our family is a blessing and I plan to celebrate him, everything he was. and everything he brought into my life.  This morning I was thinking of a photograph of him bare-assed, his shorts pulled down around his thighs, walking down from the top of Masada.   He was shocked when he turned around and realized that I was taking pictures, but today I will celebrated all the stories of Zalman with his pants down.  I am particularly celebrating the story of Zalman taking his pants down in English class to see if his teacher would notice – she didn’t.  I will also celebrate Zalman’s ability to look me right in the eye regardless of how fantastic the lie was that he was telling, and fool me every time. I cant think of his smile without smiling.  I can’t think of his kindness without wanting to do something thoughtful for someone I care about. Today, I will celebrate his deep friendships, his open and generous heart.  Today, I will hug in my own heart every one of his friends, all of the girls he loved and everyone who loved him starting with Sofi when he was 3 years old.  Zalman understood the meaning of friendship on a deeper level than anyone else I have ever know.  His friends were more important to him than anything else in his life followed closely by food and music.

For the past two years we have gone out to fntastic dinners on Zalman’s birthday to honor  his love of great food and his desire to be a chef.  This year it is a toss up for me between Mozza, where he and I went for his 16^th birthday,  because lets face it it is the best pizza in town, and something more down home like going out for burgers, milkshakes, and fries or finding a great BBQ shack somewhere.

Whatever we do it will include all of you in spirit who have shared in the love of and from our amazing boy.