Author: Marlene

This Wednesday night, May 29, 2013, The first annual Zalman Katz
Memorial Scholarship will be awarded to an outstanding member of the drum line
at Taft High School.  This Scholarship was generously created by Zalman’s
Grandmother and we all love that it is beginning the year that Zalman would
have graduated from college.

The text from the award follows:

Zalman Ezekiel Frantz Katz did everything with his heart. From September 2005
to November 2007, he was the goofy, funny, off the wall, unpredictable, and devoted
heart of the Taft High School drum line. He was the kid always ready with a joke,
the friend you knew would always listen, and the man you knew would always
stand beside you, keeping time. He is remembered by those who knew him at Taft
as a caring, loving, friend.

Zalman chose to attend Taft because of his love for drumming, and the
school’s fantastic marching band and drum line. After graduation, that
love, and the passion he brought to it, would have carried him to a
university marching band, or a professional drum corps. The Winner of
this award has distinguished him or herself on the drum line and in the
marching band during his/her time here at Taft and, like Zalman, intends
to continue pursuing excellence in music after graduation. Of equal
importance is that this student, in the spirit of Zalman, was known as a
funny, loyal, and kind friend by his band mates.

Zalman dreamt of combining his love of drumming with a culinary
education; he dreamt of owning a restaurant as the world’s first
musician/chef. We hope this award helps you reach your own unique
and personal dreams, and that you strive for them with all your heart.

 In Zalman’s memory, we present this award to you.

I must have spent 2 hours this morning trying to upload the scream scene from Garden State onto this website. Nothing I tried worked and it became this crazy obsession as if in some way Zalman would not really be gone if I could just get it to work. I was stuck in magical thinking and I stayed there most of the morning.

3 years later, it is still completely unimaginable that he is gone. I am often still taken by surprise when I see a photograph or hear a story and remember again suddenly that he is not just away. He is really not here. I saw Thor and Fast Five this weekend in honor of Zalman. He would have loved them both.

I read through the posts on Zalman’s FB page and felt what a wonderful support facebok is at times like this.  In the past all of us would have had to be alone with our separate experiences and feelings and instead there is this cyber community and that is so much less the case. I felt very grateful this morning for facebook and all of Zalman’s friends who continue to post messages to him.

I do not have much more to say this year except that i miss him and I am sad and I know that his friends and the rest of our family miss him as well.  He was lucky to have such amazing friends. I feel blessed to have so many of you still in my life.  As the sun sets it is starting to rain.  It feels like this year, even Topanga is crying just a little bit.

I know that a reminder about Zalman’s birthday will be posted on facebook pages all over the country today. I also know that from time to time that crazy picture of Zalman’s head popping out of the school bus window also appears on facebook to remind his friends to reconnect  and send him a message.   At least one person has sent a message back  in the last 2 years saying how cruel facebook is and how much he hates facebook for reminding him to reconnect with Zalman.

I am greatful to facebook today. It feels good to know that Zalman is not forgotten and that there is a community around his memory on his birthday.  As if to make sure I didn’t miss this fact, Thursday I walked into our corner hardware store and saw Zalman’s friend Charlene.  When I mentioned Zalman’s birthday,  she replied, “I know”.  It took a minute to understand how she knew and then slowly I realized it was facebook.   Zalman is having a cyber birthday today.  It feels like the modern day version of sending wishes and blessings into the universe as thoughts and prayers.

I believe that birthdays are always times for celebration, and I plan to celebrate Zalman today.  His birth was a gift.  His presence in my life and in our family is a blessing and I plan to celebrate him, everything he was. and everything he brought into my life.  This morning I was thinking of a photograph of him bare-assed, his shorts pulled down around his thighs, walking down from the top of Masada.   He was shocked when he turned around and realized that I was taking pictures, but today I will celebrated all the stories of Zalman with his pants down.  I am particularly celebrating the story of Zalman taking his pants down in English class to see if his teacher would notice – she didn’t.  I will also celebrate Zalman’s ability to look me right in the eye regardless of how fantastic the lie was that he was telling, and fool me every time. I cant think of his smile without smiling.  I can’t think of his kindness without wanting to do something thoughtful for someone I care about. Today, I will celebrate his deep friendships, his open and generous heart.  Today, I will hug in my own heart every one of his friends, all of the girls he loved and everyone who loved him starting with Sofi when he was 3 years old.  Zalman understood the meaning of friendship on a deeper level than anyone else I have ever know.  His friends were more important to him than anything else in his life followed closely by food and music.

For the past two years we have gone out to fntastic dinners on Zalman’s birthday to honor  his love of great food and his desire to be a chef.  This year it is a toss up for me between Mozza, where he and I went for his 16^th birthday,  because lets face it it is the best pizza in town, and something more down home like going out for burgers, milkshakes, and fries or finding a great BBQ shack somewhere.

Whatever we do it will include all of you in spirit who have shared in the love of and from our amazing boy.